If you do: (absolutely HYSTERICAL)
Taking a bag of M&M's to the service counter and asking to have it put on layaway.
While handling guns in the hunting department, asking where the antidepressants are.
Trying to barter with the cashier.
Hiding in a clothes rack, and then when someone browses them, yelling out "Pick me, pick me!"
pretending to have a seizure in the middle of an aisle is really fun...
pretending to have rabies in the store is fun too! fill your mouth with tooth paste and then run into the store and start trying to bite peoples legs. it helps if you have a friend running behind you trying to "catch" you...
Playing volleyball with the giant balls over the isles will get you kicked out. I worked with a guy that really got kicked out for that. Boy am I tempted to try it.
Using the round clothes racks for a changing room
Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit
Ride a display bike through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive"
Hold indoor shopping cart races
Take up a entire aisle in the Toys by setting up a full-scale battlefield with GI Joes and X-Men
When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "why won't people just leave me alone."
Move "Caution: wet floors" signs to carpeted areas
Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares."
Play with the automatic doors
While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this junk anyway?" Do the same in the jewelry department
Get a cart full of merchandise and then when you get to the check out line proceed to "discover" that they're all made in China. Pile them up on the conveyor belt, inform the cashier that you don't want any of it and loudly "mutter" things about communists.
Try out the fishing poles... in the toilet-paper aisle.
Take a bunch of DVDs to the electronics counter and ask the clerk to open them for you because you're an FBI agent and one of your informants who works in the packaging warehouse hid a note about national security in one of the cases.
Walk into the automotive department and ask if you can take different cars for test drives.
Place all your food on the conveyor belt, walk around and stand behind the cashier, and frequently ask, "Are you SURE that's right???"
Tell the workers that you're positive that there's a leak in the roof because you KNOW you just saw water spraying everywhere in the vegetable department.
Asking the manager if he/she is an illegal immigrant.
Setting off fireworks in the automotive department.
Throwing high heels at shoppers with chocolate in their carts.
Eating the grapes that fall on the floor.
Trying out the toilets on display.
Testing all firearms.
Giving 8 year old boys loaded paintball guns.
Go into the garden section and proceed to camouflage your shirt with clippings from the bushes.
If you succeed in finishing your camo shirt... wipe mud on your face and arms and hide behind foliage. Pop out and yell something in Vietnamese (or your best imitation) at shoppers.
go into the changing room and wait about 10min. after that yell out real loud "hey, there isn't any toilet paper in here!"
Go in to the camping department and enter a tent then tell random customers that they can come in if they bring a pillow from the bedding department
Climb up a ladder & try doing a King Kong thing
Dress up as a giant smiley face and whip price signs! Then yell "ROLLBACK!!!"
Walk up to someone act like you can read their mind & say... sir or madam... don't think that.
Glue pennies on the floor 'heads' side up
Grab some pampers Pull-Ups and while buying them yell at the clerk "Mommy, guess what? I'm a big kid now!!"
Stare at the ceiling. See how many people look up.
Something that I've always wanted to do at the mall is set up the sock mannequins in the fitting room so that it looks like someone is in there
Stand in the candy aisle and tell anyone who puts candy in their cart, "You don't need that. You're fat enough as it is."
Tell all the costumers you meet that Kmart is selling everything for half price.
Ask someone if they know anything about extracting glycerin from soap and then ask if you can try out the matches and hairspray.
Put rubber duckies in all the fish tanks.
Find yourself a lawn chair, a soda and a bag of chips and set up in front of the TVs in electronics.
Get some earplugs and then tell the manager to turn the store music ALL the way up so you can test them. Inform him that "The customer is ALWAYS right."
Tell the associates in the grocery section that you're an undercover FDA food tester and that you want them to make you a salad.
Go the the pharmacy and say that you're suppose to get a free pain killers because of free healthcare.
Attempt to put on a performance by hooking up one of their First Act electric Guitars into the Intercom system!
Stand at the entrance to an aisle and don't let anybody in unless they pay your toll.
Dress up in Ahrab clothes then start setting off fire crackers!
Change all the tvs to different channels.
Cut your OWN fabric in the material section.
Go to the back, start up the fork truck and re-arrange some pallets...
Go up to a random older man and say "Grandpa! You're alive! It's a miracle!!!!!"
Broadcast K-mart commercials over the intercom.
Set up a concert of singing hamster dolls. Line them up and have your friends turn them all on. Then act like a conductor.
Get on the intercom and say "Attention shoppers. The world is about to end, and there is a sale in aisle two."
Hand out coupons to competing stores
Pass out tracts from the "Church of Anti-WalMart and Anti-Capitalism People Who Sit Around and Complain About Society Without Doing Anything To Fix It"
Buy a used WalMart uniform online and walk around looking for people to help
Get a walkie-talkie and walk around saying your looking for the package
Put a little vest and a leash on your cat and insist that she is your seeing eye cat.
Go unfold all the towels in the towel area. When someone comes to stop you, tell them you were trying to find the right towel for your costume as Mother Superior from the Sound of Music.
Complain that none of the soap dispensers in the bath aisle work. Or, go to the bathroom, get your hands all soapy, and tell an associate that the soap dispensers in the bath aisle are full of soap. Or, you could fill them with soap, and watch as unsuspecting customers get hand soaped.
Buy a expensive item and pay for it all in pennies. Lose count at least two times.
- Have sword fights with tubes of wrapping paper
play Tag in the store and see how many kids you can get to join in.
- Superglue quarters to the floor and count how many people try to pick them up
- take a nap in the pillow displays
- Say you saw a squirrel in the Store... Over the PA system
Buy a gun, then ask where the nearest bank in located.